Therapeutic Ivanwear?

Thereapeutic Ivanwear?

Early today, Ivan Stanislav of the OSW was seen walking out of a local Long Island doctors office, grinning ear to ear. The reason? A perfect checkup.

Stanislav was more than happy to talk to reporters, who flocked to him, "Mr. President thought it would be customary for man of my size and stature to have checkup, and Ivan can understand why."

"For a man of his size and age, a forty year old man weighing in at four hundred pounds is bound to have some back problems, right?" said Dr. John Greystone. "Unfortunately, we were incredibly wrong! It seems that years of regimented Red Army training, which leaves Mr. Stanislav with a straight back, has helped to stop any form of pain or fatigue." Greystone continued, with even more startling news, "More importantly, however, are the suspenders! It appears that from wearing suspenders for so long, they have managed to keep Stanislav’s back in perfect alignment. Even while wrestling in the wrestling ring, the support it gives his back while lifting and throwing has really paid off! I am amazed."

Could Ivan Stanislav’s horrible fashion sense really be therapeutic?

"Of course they are, DYAAHAAHAA!!" Laughed Stanislav as he walked towards his red van, "I have worn suspenders since I was little boy, and they have never bothered me before! It only shows you should drink your vodka, read your communism, and wear suspenders, Comrade! DYAAHAAHAA!!"

Was that Ivanmania… or just luck?

Rumor has also hit that a clothing company, who has remained nameless at this time, contacted The Russian Bear about a possible Stanislav Suspender Market.

"The only problem," the companies spokesperson said, "is that Stanislav’s suspenders are far thicker and larger than normal suspenders. They also appear to be made out of a different material… but Mr. Stanislav will not tell us what material it is. It is far stronger than anything we’ve used for clothing, probably due to his size and weight."

Is Ivan Stanislav a fashion victim, or a trendsetter?

Only time will tell.

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